Have you ever wished that you were dead? have you ever cursed your life just to finished all of your sufferings? in short, did you ever think of a suicidal course of action? Honestly you were not alone, sometimes I often think about it when I'm on a big trouble, when I faced with such difficult problems and anything that I don't want to face. And I'm glad I'm just thinking about it, because try to see some people out there... according to the statistics, in 1984(the year when I was born) 100,000 suicide cases were already listed worldwide, and in 2000 769.3% had increased its percentage where the WHO(World Health Organization) reported 76,930,000 cases, what more for the unreported one? So it only means that as time passes by, millions of people don’t enjoy life after all... That's the negative side of being human, we were very much aware about our existence, and suicidal is the shortcut of everything! I often asked myself, whey we really need to be here? Perhaps you also asked that to yourself! but you know what? Answers were not hard to find... it's always in the bible! And that made my life different...
Here are few situations that made me think about it...
This only happens a week ago. My dad hasn’t been critically ill actually, but he needs to be hospitalized due to his gallbladder stone, the doctors really need to remove it... not just the stone but the whole gallbladder itself. It just pretty amazing that a person can live normally even without it! So there's no room to be worried about in my dad's case. I never get used to hospitals, honestly but I know that people who were ill needs some emotional support by visiting them. As I walked into the ward room (where my dad is), the room is packed, I mean no empty beds, all have patients in it. Where every bed have its own story that I have learned from it. That's why I also want to share it to you.
On the first bed next to us, is a patient also who have the same case as my father, but as you dig deeper into it, my father is the healthiest above all the patients in the room (thank God!). Back to the topic, that patient in the first bed has lots of visitors and I guess those were his officemates, friends and relatives. He had his wife beside him. His recovery gone too fast and he only stayed in the hospital for few days. How did he recover that fast? Because he was holding on to someone and into something, he had his family as inspiration to keep going.
On the left bed beside us, they came from a far city about 10 hours away from the Hospitals location if you have to ride on a bus. They were cheerful and friendly couple as I had observed. The husband had been diagnosed for having tumor on the left side of his heart, of course you can see how worried they are, the fact that he will still be undertaking lots of tests and one operation after another. He's still okay on the first day, but as time passes by he begun weaker as the process proceeds. Doctors make some holes on his chest then another two hole on his side then if the tests were complete they'll going to open his chest! Imagine how hard it could be if you were in his situation. What will you do then if you were him? One thing more... because they came from far-off place there's a little chance of having their own visitors. We guess that no one really visits them... Except for my brother, who sometimes visits them when they had moved to other room. Chances are there's no room of comfort, no emotional support (personally), only through phone calls. That's really so tough! But I was amazed on how they handle their situation, which they can still manage to laugh behind those worried eyes (just set aside the Hospital bills first, that will only add some headaches)... I admire their optimistic spirit! Really! And if you were to ask me what will I do if I were in that situation? Perhaps I want to tell you "Just leave me alone! I want to die and I want to stop these sufferings!” Emotional isn't it? But they aren't like that... On the top of their minds it says "This too shall pass and I will be WELL again, I'll be able to spend some time with my children's again, and I'll be on my regular work routine for my family. I love them and I want to be with them always." I feel like a little psychotic on that part... hey you see? There’s really something behind those hazel eyes! I can read some...ha ha ha... But seriously speaking there is! And why do they keep on holding on? So that they can go back home again, and spend time with those they love specially with their children. Life seems so ironic if you got to see the point. Even though they don't know when will they go back home, they still manage to invite us and visit them on there home place! Those instances only provide you some of the strong hopes that the couple has beautiful tomorrow.
On the bed on the center bottom that faces the room door, the patient is not that old enough maybe at early 60's. He had that phenomenal Diabetes, which led him to cut-off his right leg. From that moment onwards he will going to spend his life physically incomplete, and really needs a lot of adjustment. Few days after his operation, his family with his grandchildren’s organized a party and ate with him while he's lying on bed. He's so weak and can hardly even talk, he just try to make some signs to communicate but most of the time he only whispers. They took pictures along with him and they'll hoping that he could recover and go back home again. His sister which is far older than him and his loving wife were the ones who patiently looking after him. With those kind of affection, he is motivated to keep going and by heart it says "I will survive!". If you were him? Can you survive?
On the other hand, the bed opposite on my dad's bed is somewhat difficult as well. He also suffered the same illness, Diabetes... He's the oldest of all the patients in the room, but the most notable feature in him is that he ALWAYS smiles. Sometimes he were in severe pain, whom doctors needs to put something on his anal just to remove the wastes that was stuck inside him that cannot be discharged, his digestive system aren't working properly already. Of course it isn't that easy! One thing more, he don't have his family with him, to look after him. His care giver is the one who's with him but she always do scold him (acting like she's a wife or a daughter, sometimes treat him with no respect), I didn't dare to asked why she's acting like that but according to the lady who is right beside them on the room, that old sick widow man had been bad during his HEALTHY days. But don't you see? This is the moment where he needs someone to take good care of him... Then lately the caregiver went home and leave the old man alone, promises to come back as soon as possible but until night she never returned. So sad isn't it? It's like singing the song "Just when I needed you most" dedicated for his family. The worst thing in it is that concerning the BILLS he had on the hospital. The old man is worrying too much, where will he going to get some money to pay the huge amount of bills he had. And as a last remedy, he'll going to sell all of his property (house and lot) instead in exchange for the hospital bill. Huh?! Where will he going anyway if that happens?! Worried right? But will all that burdens he still SMILES constantly! What will be the factor why is he still fighting? He is hoping that he can overcome all those obstacles, and knew there were still some room to change for the better HIM (physically and spiritually), hope is still there when mostly it seems to be no hope. After few days in hospital, finally one of his son arrived!
Imagine the situation with those few people I had mentioned in that particular room in the hospital? Can you still absorb it? Their situation seems so bleak, but they're not looking on to the dark side! It like they are looking for the tiny bright light that illuminates a small amount on a very dark room. Think about this... how many people you know who were in the hospital everyday fighting for their lives? How many people you know who struggled so hard to survive? How many people you know who want to steal a life just to make their love ones live longer? How many people you know who were willing to surrender all that they have just to live? If we were to compare their situation against ours, we can conclude that we were still far luckier than they are. If that so, therefore we have much reasons to fight, and not to be disappointed. IF OTHERS CAN, WHY CAN'T I? Right? With those 76,930,000people who commit suicide last 2000, they are so weak... they are not wise. How about you? Are you wise enough?
August 17, 2007
4:24pm
Here are few situations that made me think about it...
This only happens a week ago. My dad hasn’t been critically ill actually, but he needs to be hospitalized due to his gallbladder stone, the doctors really need to remove it... not just the stone but the whole gallbladder itself. It just pretty amazing that a person can live normally even without it! So there's no room to be worried about in my dad's case. I never get used to hospitals, honestly but I know that people who were ill needs some emotional support by visiting them. As I walked into the ward room (where my dad is), the room is packed, I mean no empty beds, all have patients in it. Where every bed have its own story that I have learned from it. That's why I also want to share it to you.
On the first bed next to us, is a patient also who have the same case as my father, but as you dig deeper into it, my father is the healthiest above all the patients in the room (thank God!). Back to the topic, that patient in the first bed has lots of visitors and I guess those were his officemates, friends and relatives. He had his wife beside him. His recovery gone too fast and he only stayed in the hospital for few days. How did he recover that fast? Because he was holding on to someone and into something, he had his family as inspiration to keep going.
On the left bed beside us, they came from a far city about 10 hours away from the Hospitals location if you have to ride on a bus. They were cheerful and friendly couple as I had observed. The husband had been diagnosed for having tumor on the left side of his heart, of course you can see how worried they are, the fact that he will still be undertaking lots of tests and one operation after another. He's still okay on the first day, but as time passes by he begun weaker as the process proceeds. Doctors make some holes on his chest then another two hole on his side then if the tests were complete they'll going to open his chest! Imagine how hard it could be if you were in his situation. What will you do then if you were him? One thing more... because they came from far-off place there's a little chance of having their own visitors. We guess that no one really visits them... Except for my brother, who sometimes visits them when they had moved to other room. Chances are there's no room of comfort, no emotional support (personally), only through phone calls. That's really so tough! But I was amazed on how they handle their situation, which they can still manage to laugh behind those worried eyes (just set aside the Hospital bills first, that will only add some headaches)... I admire their optimistic spirit! Really! And if you were to ask me what will I do if I were in that situation? Perhaps I want to tell you "Just leave me alone! I want to die and I want to stop these sufferings!” Emotional isn't it? But they aren't like that... On the top of their minds it says "This too shall pass and I will be WELL again, I'll be able to spend some time with my children's again, and I'll be on my regular work routine for my family. I love them and I want to be with them always." I feel like a little psychotic on that part... hey you see? There’s really something behind those hazel eyes! I can read some...ha ha ha... But seriously speaking there is! And why do they keep on holding on? So that they can go back home again, and spend time with those they love specially with their children. Life seems so ironic if you got to see the point. Even though they don't know when will they go back home, they still manage to invite us and visit them on there home place! Those instances only provide you some of the strong hopes that the couple has beautiful tomorrow.
On the bed on the center bottom that faces the room door, the patient is not that old enough maybe at early 60's. He had that phenomenal Diabetes, which led him to cut-off his right leg. From that moment onwards he will going to spend his life physically incomplete, and really needs a lot of adjustment. Few days after his operation, his family with his grandchildren’s organized a party and ate with him while he's lying on bed. He's so weak and can hardly even talk, he just try to make some signs to communicate but most of the time he only whispers. They took pictures along with him and they'll hoping that he could recover and go back home again. His sister which is far older than him and his loving wife were the ones who patiently looking after him. With those kind of affection, he is motivated to keep going and by heart it says "I will survive!". If you were him? Can you survive?
On the other hand, the bed opposite on my dad's bed is somewhat difficult as well. He also suffered the same illness, Diabetes... He's the oldest of all the patients in the room, but the most notable feature in him is that he ALWAYS smiles. Sometimes he were in severe pain, whom doctors needs to put something on his anal just to remove the wastes that was stuck inside him that cannot be discharged, his digestive system aren't working properly already. Of course it isn't that easy! One thing more, he don't have his family with him, to look after him. His care giver is the one who's with him but she always do scold him (acting like she's a wife or a daughter, sometimes treat him with no respect), I didn't dare to asked why she's acting like that but according to the lady who is right beside them on the room, that old sick widow man had been bad during his HEALTHY days. But don't you see? This is the moment where he needs someone to take good care of him... Then lately the caregiver went home and leave the old man alone, promises to come back as soon as possible but until night she never returned. So sad isn't it? It's like singing the song "Just when I needed you most" dedicated for his family. The worst thing in it is that concerning the BILLS he had on the hospital. The old man is worrying too much, where will he going to get some money to pay the huge amount of bills he had. And as a last remedy, he'll going to sell all of his property (house and lot) instead in exchange for the hospital bill. Huh?! Where will he going anyway if that happens?! Worried right? But will all that burdens he still SMILES constantly! What will be the factor why is he still fighting? He is hoping that he can overcome all those obstacles, and knew there were still some room to change for the better HIM (physically and spiritually), hope is still there when mostly it seems to be no hope. After few days in hospital, finally one of his son arrived!
Imagine the situation with those few people I had mentioned in that particular room in the hospital? Can you still absorb it? Their situation seems so bleak, but they're not looking on to the dark side! It like they are looking for the tiny bright light that illuminates a small amount on a very dark room. Think about this... how many people you know who were in the hospital everyday fighting for their lives? How many people you know who struggled so hard to survive? How many people you know who want to steal a life just to make their love ones live longer? How many people you know who were willing to surrender all that they have just to live? If we were to compare their situation against ours, we can conclude that we were still far luckier than they are. If that so, therefore we have much reasons to fight, and not to be disappointed. IF OTHERS CAN, WHY CAN'T I? Right? With those 76,930,000people who commit suicide last 2000, they are so weak... they are not wise. How about you? Are you wise enough?
August 17, 2007
4:24pm
please reconsider the "luckier" word I've wrote on this topic, it must be "blessed"... It just irritates my eyes when i saw it! thanks!
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